A Perfect Beginning- XV

Now that we’ve accepted our love for each other, everything in the world looked pretty and beautiful.

That’s how it is supposed to be according to the examples set by the romantic movies that I grew up with. I am not a Hollywood fan! I don’t understand what they say half of the times. And my life is dependent on subscene.com when it comes to English movies. I attempted watching Inception without subtitles and I couldn’t understand a single thing in the movie. All I was doing was drooling over Leonardo DiCaprio.

Coming back to today’s night; he was holding me in his arms and I could feel his breath behind my ears. I was tickled a little, but I knew laughing would be a little weird for this moment which is why I tried my best to control it. If I could control my laughter for a person, especially when I am being tickled, then you should know that I could do anything for that person. Sounds a little off-beat, but that is the way it is!

Silence filled up the whole room. And none of us were bothered by it! All that mattered at that point of time was each other’s company and warmth.

“Listen”, he breaks into the 5-minute-long silence.

“Haan”

“Let’s go to the balcony”

“Bohat thand hogi. Why do you want to go?”

“Chal le na!”

And I followed him outside, towards the balcony. It was freezing outside. I could feel the chills and my teeth were already playing the serene music of being cold. A chill passed throughout my body and I said to myself, “This better be for some good reason. Else, I am going to kill him.”

We stood beside the iron railing in the balcony. I was still shivering. Tolerating cold hasn’t really been a quality in me. 25 degree Celsius is enough to cover myself up with blazers, sweaters and socks; and a monkey hat whenever I am home!

“Are you feeling cold?”

Should I say yes? What if he cracks a joke on me for feeling cold at such a normal temperature?

Instead, I reply, “Not really! Can I go and grab my sweater from the room. I will be back in no time!”

“Sure. I am so sorry. Let me get that for you”

“Awww!” I said to myself!

“I didn’t hear you. Come again!”

“Nothing”

I walk into the room and start searching for my sweater. I turned back as soon as I found it and there stands Vee smiling at me. I wouldn’t lie about the fact that I was scared a little.

“Close your eyes”, he said.

Okay! Now, it got scarier. “Why?” came by instantaneous reply.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then close your eyes”

I close my eyes and I realize I am levitating from the ground. I open my eyes out of fear and I see myself in his arms, lifted up like a Nayi Naveli Dulhan.

“What are you doing?”

“Shhhh! Trust me.”

“Fine. But please don’t drop me. I don’t want to break a leg or any other part of my body.”

“Shhhhhh”

I had to keep quiet.

He takes me to the balcony again and I can’t be grateful enough to my sweater for keeping me warm.

He lowers me down on the ground.

I stand facing him.

He kneels down.

With a rose in his hand.

I knew what was coming next! :)

A Perfect Beginning- XIV

(So, I took quite sometime to continue writing the post. And I apologise for that. Anyways, here I am!)

The hug went longer that I had wanted it to be. Before you start questioning me I would like to clarify that it is not a complaint! In fact, it is the first time everything seems to be perfect. I remember noticing a few spider webs in the corners of the ceiling as soon as we had entered the hotel room; and now even they seem to be there for a reason. Everything seemed to be perfect and every thing in the room seemed to have a valid reason for being there in the room.

I could feel his hand slide up underneath my t-shirt. It felt like something has captivated me and I am being taken to euphoria gently; one part of my body at one time. His other hand was busy playing through the strands of my hair. For the first time in my life I could feel protection and sensuous at the same time. And it was a feeling that I guess I was wanting for long.

He looked at me. I looked into his eyes. It felt like he was about to say something that I have been wanting him to say for long. I shifted my eyes towards his lips; and a tinge of vibration had overtook their shape.

He asked, "May I?'

And I knew what I had to answer. It was a moment that I felt would be written in the pages of history in golden letters and I was so sure of it.

I replied, "Ok!", as gentle as I could have been.

He didn't hear and said, "I am going to!" and the next very second, I could feel his lips on mine and I find my eyes closed! A gush of chill passed through my body. Goosebumps here and there! I could feel the tiny hair on my hand stand up as if they were paying respect to the seriousness of the moment. I opened my eyes and I notice a spider crawling up in the wall in front of me. Usually, I am not afraid of spiders, but that evening was too perfect to witness a spider and that too when something as important as a 'first kiss' is going on.

After a few seconds I realize that I shouldn't be concentrating on a spider when I am being kissed by someone who I love whole-kindheartedly. I close my eyes!

It was our first kiss. And minus the spider part, it was amazing!

I felt like I was on top of the highest building of my city. I wanted to shout out loud that I was in love.
But, due my civic sense didn't give me the permission. Instead, I hold his hands and whisper, "I Love You!"

To my utter surprise, he took a pause of 15 seconds. And then he replied, "I don't now. I wanted to be the first one to say that!"

I didn't know how to react to that reply. I didn't know how anyone would react to that never-expected reply.

There he sat making a face which clearly resembled to the face anyone makes in his childhood when the birthday gift doesn't turn out to be the one that was expected! I hugged him and said, "Probably this is the first time anyone has said sorry for this reason, but I am sorry!"

He hugged me back saying, "I know! And I love you too!"

I could feel happiness covering me up.
 And I knew, this person is forever!

A Perfect Beginning- XIII

I had to break in the silence as my mind was craving to talk endlessly with him. The silence was beautiful, but it also was making me realize that the time was passing away. Just three days and all of this will be gone, when he leaves for Chennai again. All the feeling, all the pit in my stomach will disappear and I will be left alone only with his voice over the phone.
And then, I decided to break into the silence.
“Suno, I’ve made a special thing for you.” I say distorting the silence.
“What could be more special than me lying down, holding you tight?’ he replies with a minimal tone.
“Utho na! I have to show you something”
“Kya hain bolo na. Mera uthne ka mann nahi kar raha hain.”
“Listen, if you’re not gonna get up, you are gonna miss the video”
“Video? What video?”
“I made a video for you kutte! Dekhna hain?”
“You made a video for me”, and he jumped out of the bed at an instant, leaving me alone lying down in the bed. It took me time to process in my not-so-smart brain to recollect what just happened!
And within some 5 seconds, he brings his laptop to me and says, “Dikhaao Video”
And I just can’t stop smiling.
I plug in my pen drive into his laptop and play the video.
(The link of the video will appear somewhere in the blog)
As soon as the video starts playing, I see his lips shaking gently in order to give way to a beautiful smile that made me fall in love with him more. Perhaps, all over again. The smile stays with him for around a minute and then suddenly I notice a tiny droplet of water carelessly falling down his cheek. He is crying.
I pause the video and ask him what happened. He just gestures me to be silent for a while and resumes the video.
The video comes to an end and there he is, still staring at the blank screen of his laptop, and trying hard not to weep.
I ask again, “Kya Hua?”
He replies with a sob. “Thank you! Thank you so much. I have met thousands of people in this world and I have innumerous number of friends. But no one had gifted me something, so pure, so touching ever in my life. Thank you so much”
I notice that his words kinds made my eyes moist too.
I hug him gently. With his sobs burying down somewhere in my shoulders.

A Perfect Beginning XII

I start walking towards him. He was busy at staring to the laptop. Perhaps I really offended him. Why would anyone say that he wants to lie down beside me without a sound, and then switch on the laptop and startle at it as if some really raunchy video is being played in it!
He still haven’t noticed me approaching towards him. Or perhaps he is just ignoring me because I spoilt the really romantic mood.
I try making sound with my feet by stamping hard on the floor.
His eyes are still glued to the laptop screen.
I see his slippers lying down in the floor. Time to make a move to test if he is really enthralled by the laptop screen or its just pretention! I try dragging his slippers throughout the room by kicking it hard. The slippers make a whooshing sound and hit the bed.
“Are you okay?’ he asks.
“No. I am not. Pay attention to me, please?” I reply.
He smiles and looks up towards the ceiling, with an expression of that clearly depicted ‘what will I do with this kiddo’.
“Why that smile?” I ask.
“Agar abhi sabkuch bata doonga, toh baad mein bataane ke liye kuch nahi reh jaayega’, comes his romantic surreal reply.
I pause my blink for a few seconds and look into his eyes with a distance of about 2 metres in between.
His eyes halt too.
I turn desperate inside to run into him, grab his face and kiss him on his lips. I have never been so desperate for anything. Not even then, when I wanted my first cell phone and fought for hours and hours with my parents to make them agree.
Something has definitely changed in me. It feels like the emotions that I am feeling are not of me, but still they feel so close to my heart.
Maybe this is what love does to you. It turns your world upside down, changes your outlook, your emotional barriers and still everything feels normal. Rather, it feels better than yesterday.
“Idhar aa jaao”, he calls me.
I go near him. He grabs me by my arm.
My heart starts beating first. It has happened for the fifth time consecutively in a day. I hope that’s a good thing.
I sit beside him and he just grabs me and makes me lie beside him. It happened within a second and it took me another two seconds to figure that out.
I can feel my breathe curling up and swallowing itself and my mouth going dry, as if it haven’t had water for last three years. (Okay, three years sound too much, let it be two days.)
And he just lies still beside me. His hands holding my hands and his thigh put across mine.
I assemble a little amount of courage and try putting my head on his chest. His hand was blocking the path, so I restricted myself.
But, it seemed like he was waiting for me to make a move and removed his hands at an instant. I rest my head in his chest gently and his heartbeats became crystal clear to my ears.
It was complete silence in the room, but our minds and hearts were shouting out loud in happiness and contentment.
“I waited for this moment so long” he breaks into the silence.
“Hmmm”, all I reply.
The moment was too precious to break into a conversation.
“Say something” he said, spectating my long preserved silence.
I couldn’t stop myself from restricting from him anymore. I hug him tightly and say, “I don’t care if we get committed or not. I don’t care if we are meant to be together or not. You are the one who came here to propose me and make me yours. Apart from knowing all of that, I can’t stop myself from saying those three magical words. I LOVE YOU KRISHH. I REALLY DO.”
There was silence or another two seconds.
‘What did you just say? Did I hear it whatever you said?’, he asked.
I couldn’t reply. I could feel my ears turning warm and my cheeks ticklish. I just bury my head in his arms.
It was 4 AM sharp then! The beginning of a new morning.
..................
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Tum Hi Ho, Ab Tum Hi Ho, Meri Aashiqui Ab Tum Hi Ho.
Chen Bhi, Mera Dard Bhi, Meri Zindagi Ab Tum Hi Ho....

A Perfect Beginning XXI

He fed me. What else could be more romantic!

It’s just like the Hindi romantic films. Sitting in those reclining seats of a theatre I have always dreamt of falling in such a situation. I have always wanted to feel the sensation of déjà vu after I fall in a relationship. Déjà vu of having it seen in films earlier.

With expectations and positive thoughts anything can be turned into reality, perhaps putting back the toothpaste into the tube too! But, yes, it can be done. I had never believed it until today.

We both side by side on the leg edge of the bed.

Holding two thaalis on our hands.

And our imaginations going wild. Deep wild into the field of romance and awkwardness.

Every thoughts in our mind is starting with 'what if'

It was utter silence reigning over the room which grasped the chaos of the city outside too.

N finally we finished eating. I was being scolded for not being able to eat much. But how could I? I had butterflies of nervousness flying and doing all kind of acts in my stomach.

Maybe he had the same feeling spinning in his nerves too, but being quite a good student of life, he must have learnt to hide it within himself.

I kept looking at his face at times, secretly of course, while eating, but he was just not looking at me. Lots were going on within us.

First night of romance brings in a lot of things to your mind, Expectations topping the chart of those 'few' things.

"Let’s get into the bed", he held my hands.

I got startled.

Does he mean it in some other way? I mean, not that I don’t trust him, but maybe hailing from a cosmos has made him umber urbane and maybe he doesn't think it in the small-town way!

"Why?” I ask him, I ask him bluntly!

N then I realize maybe I shouldn't have.

"China mat kar. Kucch karoonga nahi. i just want to lie down near you"

I knew I shouldn’t have asked.

This is another situation that I will look back in the future and say to myself that I shouldn’t have done that.

"Hmmm. Okay then."

Oh wait! I suddenly feel a twinge in my stomach. I realize I have been too busy with the special feeling that now I suddenly feel the need of rushing to the washroom to attend the washing room.

But I am already on the bed with him, he hugging me by my waist.

Should I hold myself or should i just rush and come back, really fast, like Edward from Twilight.

I think I can hold on. After all, I have always ruined up the romantic moments with my sudden questions.

Not again!

I don’t want to add another moment in my list of 'please-don’t-think-about' moments; I already have quite a lot in the list.

I start curling up near him and just lie down.

His hands moved up and reached my hair.

Is my hair too rough, provided that has tackled quite a lot dirt and dust today out there in the city?

I bet it is.

I’m trying to control my urge for the nature's call!

He caresses my hair, running his fingers through it, detangling every single strand.

I feel a tinge of Goosebumps running through my spine. It was all happening for the first time, like I saw in those romantic films of 80s.

But I am still trying to fight my urge. All I can hear is the spilling sound of water, and suddenly the sound of flush seems to be more attractive than anything else.

His hands run down to my cheeks, gently caressing it. His thumbs start walking towards my lips. a sense of security started dropping by my heart, which is otherwise too clumsy to realize security.

"Main Kinte Dino Se Is Waqt ka Intezaar Kar Raha Tha", he whispered.

I look into his eyes.

They were glowing. Or did I feel they were glowing? It felt like his eyes were saying a lot, sending out his love for me, that he had it treasured within himself, without letting anyone know, not even me! I could hear his eyes. Saying all those unspoken words that can make anyone feel the magnificence of love. But still there was something else in his eyes too; something that made me feel that behind this sense of happiness of him meeting me, there was something that was grasping his soul in gloominess, in utter pain!

I knew I couldn't ask him about it and let his mind divert away from the moment. I keep silent. Maybe sometime later, he would say without me asking him to.

Okay! I shouldn’t think about the bad stuffs right now. This moment is supposed to be meant for us, for our happiness. Gloominess isn’t supposed to grasp our fate tonight.

I tried to divert myself.

He was still caressing my lips, running his thumb over it, rewarding me with a warm feeling; a feeling of destined love.

I start looking into his eyes again.

He is still staring with the sparkle, the same sparkle.

And I am still fighting my urge and wanting to feel the moment.

But I can’t. The urge is getting way too hard to control now.

All I can hear within my mind is splashing sound of water!

I am being unfair to him! I need to free my mind from being diverted towards the door of the washroom.

That’s it!

I need to run now. I can’t control.

I know I will spoil the romantic moment, the moment both of us have been waiting for long, but I couldn't be more unfair to him.

"I need to....” I interrupt!

"Ssshhhh..."

I feel worse. But I have to stop fighting myself for trying to be romantic. The feeling should come on its own. And there's just a way to do it.

"I need to go to the washroom.” I sit up.

He got startled.

"Ummm. Okay. Ummm. Sure"

His prolonged usage of the still uncategorized word ‘ummm' proved that he was taken aback.

"Sure. Go ahead", he turns his back and picks up his phone and start fiddling it.

I rush straight down to the washroom and free myself from the urge.

And then I realize I didn't really make a good impact on him.

I close the door gently behind me, and went on to tiptoe and peep at him!

He is taking out his laptop from his backpack, with a slanting smile on his face. He must be laughing at how I retorted! I know I did a very stupid thing.

I feel more embarrassed.

"I’m sorry Vee, so sorry", I say to myself, meaning it to him!

He was still walking with the slanting smile. J

A Perfect Beginning XX

Is 2 greater than 1? I mean I know that in arithmetic it is. But here the competition is between a mug that was bought for the ex-boyfriend and the two t-shirts gifted to the to-be-boyfriend.

Okay! I should keep my mind straight. At least, I have been gifted something.

We were both sitting in front of the TV now, watching some dumb wrestling match’s ad that is supposedly going to fill up every wrestling lover’s spine the coming Sunday. Sunday did they say!

Listening to the word Sunday worried me more. He loves wrestling. Love isn’t actually the perfect word. The perfect word would be ‘first love’. And now I’m worried about being ignored the whole Sunday!

I should really start praying god for something that could divert his mind. What could it be?

Maybe the TV should burst off due to power fluctuation (like it happens when the hero jumps in through the window in some fancy action movie). But that might just end up hurting us both. Denied!

Or maybe I should pray for the Ten-Sports channel to go on a sudden loss and shut down. Okay, maybe that is way more to ask for but it might happen. Anyways, I don’t really watch anything on that channel which makes me despise it even more!

How about load-shading? Yeah! That is better. The almighty can do it real easy. I mean it’s not that hard to switch off the main switch.

Yeah! I should do that.

I tried looking at his face to see if he is sensing the chaos going inside me.

No! He is way too busy in staring at the half nude wrestling hunks.

I close my eyes and start praying.

But all I could see with my closed eyes was him staring at the half nude hunks and smiling! I

Ignore him. Ignore him.

I should really concentrate or I will end up being avoided.

But he is still coming into my thought. I can visualize him walking over to the TV and stand 5 cms away from the TV staring at the hunks.

Not working! Not working!

Maybe I should count reverse, from 10 to 1.

10….9….8…7…6…5…4…

“Kya hua baby?”

Grrr! He had to interrupt.

Lord Jesus, please help me, will you?

I open my eyes and see him staring at me. Okay, this is one of the moments which the FB pages talk about starting with ‘the awkward moment when….’

I should quickly give an answer.  Think!

“Ummm. Nothing. Just a little headache”, the handy excuse of all season!

“Maybe it’s because you haven’t ate anything since afternoon”

“Yeah, maybe!”

“Aaja kucch khaa lete hain. The food we ordered is already here. It might already have become thanda”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Awesome. Let me serve!”

I was still finding an excuse to finish my prayers. I have never been imagined myself of being able to be this insecure about my to-be-relationship because of something as fainted as a wrestling match. I mean I’ve seen in the Hindi soaps that the ‘typical’ lovebirds fight over the choice of channels or whatever, but I never thought something like that would happen to me. I have been always this sorted, I-understand-the-maturity-of-a-relationship guy.

This happens to me all the time. I can’t keep my mind at peace any single moment. If something gets out of my brain’s way, something else just drives in with 60kmph.

I tried looking at his face to see if he is sensing the chaos going inside me. He was busy in serving the food turning his back towards me.

Still! So I took the benefit of the moment to close my eyes and pray really hard. I even imagined myself doing a puppy face gesture while begging him to award me with a load shading moment. Puppy face always works with my parents and I have always been taught that God is our father. Connection, you know, just in case!

I open my eyes.

Weird!

There he is standing, in front of me, staring at me as if I have been convicted of some real crime.

“Is it paining too much?”

I have already forgotten my excuse of headache and I ask, “What pain?”

“Your headache baba”

Oh! I remember.

“No. I feel a little better”

“Have some food and lie down. You will feel much better” and he forwards me a plate of Naan and Butter Chicken Masala.

“Thank You”

“Formality mat karo baby”

“I love formalities!”

“Nautanki saala”

And there we were. Silently eating our food like they do in a situation where the bride and groom have just been home after marrying each other according to family’s choice, sacrificing their respective romantic relationships!

I giggle within.

“Baby, yeh lo!” I hear him and turn towards left.

OMG!

There he was holding a piece of Naan in his hands.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Is this really happening?

“Someone please capture this moment!” I say to myself

He is going to feed me, with his own hands. How romantic it would be! I feel like I am in some set of Yash Raj Films playing the role of a romantic hero. This is one of those moments in which I would have been clapping had it been in some movie.

“Kya hua? Nahi khaana? I’m sorry if I have offended you!”

Then I realize he had been waiting for about half a minute holding his hand up near my face and I was busy in my own little filmy world imagining myself as a romantic hero.

“Paagal hain kya? Yeh le. Aaaaaaah!” I replied and opened my mouth really large.

He couldn’t help smiling and fed me.

He started to blush and looked down to his plate.

“Idhar dekh”, I say.

He replies with more blush, “Shut up!”

I look down into my plate and smile.

I look at him again.

He was busy smiling too! J

A Perfect Beginning- XIX

Okay! So here I am sitting alone in the room for about half an hour, cursing myself for being so hypocratic.

Why couldn’t I say that I hate his ex boyfriend like any other normal relationship person in the world? Why did I smile like a dumb moron and try impressing him saying that I the mug is really cute and romantic.

I hate myself as of now.

“I don’t want our relationship to grow on the base of lies and grudges, ever”, these were his words when he first called me up to say those three magical words that every single ‘single’ person in the world craves to listen to.

Accepting the proposal or rejecting it comes much later but everyone out there dreams of having someone in their life who says those words out loud and makes the otherwise crappy life worth some smiles.

Now, my mind is hovering over those warning kinda words that he clearly mentioned on his first telephonic proposal.

Oh God! What do I do?

Shall I knock on the bathroom door and say to him?

What if he doesn’t open the bathroom door? What if he thinks that m getting desperate physically and urging to have a wild bathroom encounter?

Shit! No. No. No.

I have to wait till he comes out of the bath and sits beside me.

I started growing pale, well a little bit! And the tiny sounds of my tiny heart grew so havoic that anyone passing by the corridor of our hotel room could feel them too and perhaps mistake it for earthquake, well the tiny ones!

BAM!

I heard the bathroom door getting shut.

Oh Fuck! He is coming out. Shall I run straightway to him and hold his feet and say that I lied about the mug?

What if seeing me run he thinks me of a weirdo?

Oh lord! Picturing the ‘what-if’ situations makes your decisions get worse.

“Baby, Shall We Have Our Dinner that we ordered downstairs?”, he broke into my thoughts, like he always does.

“Ummm…well…okay…”, I wanted to add a ‘but’, but I couldn’t!

“Cool. I Have got two gifts for you”

Gifts? Is he saying that in a sarcasting note? What if he has guessed my thoughts through my bod language?

This is so tough! So creepy! I am quite sure he has found out that something is cooking in my mind!

I reply with a forceful faded smile, “What? Gifts? Wow”.

“Yup”.

He opens up his suitcase and takes out two T-shirts.

“Wow! He meant that! Thank God! M Relieved”. I say that to myself.

I take the two t-shirts in my hand and as usual, my mind started whoozing around.

Two T-shirts Vs. One Mug?

Tough Competition!

But two is always greater than one, ain’t it?

So, indirectly, I am given more weightage in this match! Awesome. I feel like a winner now.

I decided that I should keep quiet about the whole mug thing!

“Why are you quiet? Didn’t you like them?, he broke into again!

Its Reply Time!

“Don’t I Like Them? Stupid, I LOVE Them”, I answered back with the victorious smile still lingering on my face.

He smiled too.

He was contented.

Me too  J